Forever
By Gail Christison
TITLE: Forever
AUTHOR: Gail Christison
PAIRING: B/G
RATING: NC-17
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns everything..right? :-)
TIMELINE: After Restless.
SPOILERS: General fourth season
SUMMARY: Buffy has been having nightmares since the events of
Restless, but there's more to it than just bad dreams.
DISTRIBUTION: Solo if she wants it; My site, Once More With
Feeling: http://www.wickedsky.com/oncemore
FEEDBACK: Always :-) chriscln@iinet.net.au
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Many thanks to Karen for the quick beta!
DEDICATION: To Dword, Jolene and Amanda H, for the rays of
sunshine :-)
"Will you patrol with me?"
"Why?"
"What do you mean, *'why?'*"
"You heard. It's very late. You haven't asked me to patrol
with you in almost a year, and now you're standing on my doorstep
at," he looked at his watch with a flourish, "eleven
forty two p.m. on a week night demanding that I come out with
you."
Buffy slowly looked up the robe-clad length of him to his
reddened face. "I didn't demand," she said quietly.
"I just asked, but I'm sorry to bug you. It doesn't
matter."
Giles grabbed her arm as she turned.
"Why?" he asked far more gently.
"Too many reasons," she said without turning.
"Mostly I don't want to be alone."
The hand on her arm fell away. "Oh."
She turned back slowly, searched his face again. "In the
First Slayer's little dreamfest...I was looking everywhere for
you guys...but I couldn't find any of you. I don't ever want to
be that alone again."
Giles regarded his bare feet, not sure why he was so
disappointed. "I knew it had affected you, but not this
much."
"Neither did I," she said, looking at him as though she
hadn't seen him before. "But I keep having different Buffy
versions of that nightmare, over and over..."
Giles looked up, his green eyes looking at her keenly.
"Visions?"
Buffy swallowed. "I don't think so. Everyone of them is
about me not..." She frowned. "Giles, can I come
in?"
He seemed realise for the first time that they were still talking
on the porch. "Oh...oh, yes," he stammered and stood
aside to let her pass. It was coming up to summer and a warm
night, so Buffy's outfit consisted of shorts, a pretty, white,
peasant-style blouse and white sneakers, all of which he absorbed
silently as he followed her in.
"You were saying?" he prompted, when she seemed to be
distracted almost immediately by the box of trinkets spilled out
on his desk.
She turned and he noticed for the first time how tired she
looked. "Oh. My dreams. Forget it. I-It's nothing. My
problem."
Giles folded his arms. "Not any more," he said
pointedly. "You'll be good enough to at least finish your
last sentence."
For a brief moment her eyes narrowed stubbornly and it seemed she
would argue, then the wind seemed to go out of her sails.
"Almost all my dreams since the First Slayer visited us have
been, well, nightmares about ...us," she admitted awkwardly.
"I'm always alone, and I can't find you anywhere. Nowhere. I
call and call and you don't come. I search everywhere..."
"Go on," Giles prompted, straightening and dropping his
arms.
"They're all like that. Sometimes I need you to research
something so I don't get killed, or so I can save someone, or I
have to find you to save you, and sometimes I just want to talk
to you...And sometimes its because...because you've left
me," she finished forlornly.
"I have no intention of leaving you," he said gently.
The blue-grey eyes grew haunted. "In my dreams it's always
my fault. I did it to you. It was always me who hurt you and made
you disappear."
He reached out and touched her arm. "It's all right. I'm
still here."
"No, it's not. All the things that hurt you in my
nightmares... The worst thing is, it's mostly stuff that really
happened. Well, without the purple vampires anyway, or...or the
exploding Olivia. Sorry about that..." She frowned. "Or
the you in the black leather with Riley in the nerdy all-white
suit at my birthday party..."
The muscles in Giles' jaw visibly strained to stop the sudden
flash of amusement that danced in his eyes, from escaping.
"Exploding Olivia?" he managed eventually, picking the
least amusing item to focus on.
She shrugged. "I guess I have issues," she said without
elaboration. "It was after she said 'he appears' or
something, the first time I ever saw her, you know, when you came
out of the bathroom. She kind of exploded into millions of little
bits of blue cheese then you came out and..." Her eyes
widened. The next was a bit she hadn't intended to mention... to
anyone. "Never mind," she said quickly. "The
purple vampires were way weirder."
"I'm sure they were," Giles said quietly, curious, but
not willing to push the issue. "Have you heard from Riley
recently?"
She shook her head. "He called about a week ago from the
farm. Said everything was fine, that he was enjoying the down
time...and that he still had some things to work through. I wish
he was here..."
All expression wiped itself from the handsome face. "Why
don't you sit down while I change?" he said suddenly.
Buffy blinked as he took the stairs by twos. "Giles, is
something wrong?"
"What? No...not at all. What gave you that idea?" he
yelled from the loft.
"Oh nothing, just you doing an impression of a startled
jackrabbit all of a sudden."
"A what?"
Buffy looked up the stairs and drew a sharp breath. He was
holding a shirt, but was naked to the waist and without glasses,
looking down at her as though she'd taken leave of her senses.
She'd never seen him without, well, layers, before...except in a
few of those nightmares. She shook off the warmth of those
memories and compared the reality to the dream. Not much
different, except perhaps a little more chest hair, a little more
width in the shoulder, less in the waist, and, unexpectedly, way
more disturbing than the illusion.
She swallowed and tried to find her voice, surprised how
difficult it was to keep her eyes above the waist of his silk
pyjama bottoms. "Y-you heard me," she stammered.
"First you're mad because I ask you to patrol with me, and
now you can't get dressed fast enough...except you're
not...dressed, I mean."
Giles seemed to become aware of his state of undress for the
first time. "Oh lord," he muttered and disappeared back
into the loft.
"You don't have to come," she called after him. "I
mean, it's okay, I know you said I had to handle stuff by myself
now that I'm in college. I honestly didn't mean to bug you. I
don't even know why I came..."
There was no answer from above. A few moments later she frowned
and started up the steps before she thought about what she was
doing. She had turned at the landing to face his room before she
actually did.
Giles was sitting on the bed, in a pair of black jeans she'd
never seen before, new black sneakers and, still unbuttoned, the
dark shirt he was carrying earlier. Tipped out of a sport bag she
hadn't seen since the library burned down, onto the quilt, were
some of their favourite weapons and a bunch of stakes.
It wasn't those which caught her attention, however, it was the
small piece of jewellery he was looking at.
"I haven't seen that since before the Ascension," she
said quietly.
He jumped, but only for a moment, then spoke without looking up.
"I know. I found it under a shelf when I was doing my last
inspection of the library before setting the explosives."
"I must have lost it when we were training," she
agreed, something flickering in her eyes. "When exactly was
the last time we trained together?"
"Do you really want to know?" he asked, a surprisingly
bitter edge to his voice.
Buffy's eyes widened, and her colour ebbed a little. "That
long, huh?"
Giles handed her the bracelet. It had little or no value, except
as a colourful fashion accessory, and she'd forgotten it existed
until now.
'That long," he confirmed softly. "Why did you come
here tonight?"
"Why did you keep this?" she countered.
He got up suddenly and moved toward the stairs. "I'm not
sure you deserve an answer to that."
"Giles?"
He turned, almost reluctantly. "Why did you come here, after
all this time? Is it because Riley is elsewhere? Or a sudden, and
one might add, miraculous, attack of remorse?" He spoke
without heat, without even accusation in his voice, just a sense
of resignation.
"You make it sound like I haven't seen you for a year,"
she retorted angrily. "A-And remorse? What is that? Am I
supposed to feel guilty for having a life away from
slaying...a-away from you? Is that what the drinking was about?
You never did tell anyone what Spike said to you." She
dragged a hand through her hair. "What do you want from me,
Giles?"
For a long moment he stared at her, so much in his eyes, so much
in the deliberate set of his mouth, and then he turned and walked
downstairs.
Buffy closed hers, her nightmares closing in on her. *He was
gone. He was always gone.
She was always so alone in them. Sometimes it was a desert,
sometimes the middle of a city ... sometimes even his empty
apartment. And it hurt. It always hurt...so much.*
His voice echoed in her thoughts: *Why did you come here?*
*Why...because she was afraid...because of the last
nightmare...because...* She swallowed.
The dream had started with Willow telling her Giles was hurt,
that he was feeling, in Willowspeak, 'out of the loopy', exactly
the way it happened on her last birthday...
Then in a blink, instead of Willow, Giles was sitting opposite
her, naked, as he had been in too many of her dreams lately,
smiling, as the young witch's disembodied voice droned on and on,
listing a litany of mistakes, of awful things Buffy had done,
every one of them affecting him, somehow.
He grew a little more insubstantial, and a little sadder with
each one, until finally Willow's voice reached an accusatory
crescendo as an almost transparent Giles began to waver, and
screamed: *'You lost him!'* in Tara's voice, as he exploded into
dust like a vampire.
At that same moment a breeze had sprung up from nowhere to blow
every particle of him from the table, from the ground, his chair,
even from her face and hair until not a trace remained.
It was over in just moments, and then there was...nothing.
Just the silence: sterile, empty silence in the midst of the
chaos of the coffee shop...and life. She sat in a bubble of
nothing...a shatteringly Giles-less *nothing...*
Buffy blinked and shook herself. There was a soul-destroying
horror in that nightmare that had stayed with her ever since,
haunting her until she had to see him...if only to confirm the
living, breathing reality of him to her totally wigged psyche.
She clenched her fists against her body's reaction to reliving it
yet again.
Downstairs, Giles stood in front of his whisky tray, but refused
to pick up the bottle.
Since the episode with Spike he'd gradually drawn back inside
himself. He would never again be the stammering Librarian who had
so vigilantly tried to stand guard against the emergence of the
Ripper or any of his horrible past, but in these last weeks he
had found his centre again, away from Buffy, away from the
emotional turmoil stirred up so easily by the vampire.
He stared with contempt at the half-empty bottle. He wasn't proud
of what he'd done to himself because of her. And he couldn't
afford to let it happen again.
He moved away, went to the table and the box of talismans and
trinkets he'd been sorting before Buffy arrived and started to
put them away. It was the third time since the earthquake that
he'd had them out with the intention of identifying and
cataloguing every piece, so that nothing as stupid as the
incident with the Word of Valios, would ever happen again...
"I'm going now," a strained voice said unsteadily
behind him, breaking the silence and
making him jump. "Before I hurt you any more. But I
wanted...I wanted you to know...I only came here tonight because
of the nightmares...because I needed to see you, to hear you...to
know you were okay."
He snapped the box closed and straightened, but didn't turn. The
odds that anything was going to change after all this time were
still so very...
He closed his eyes. "Why?"
"Giles, I need you...I don't ever want you to go away."
*And how many times had he heard that before...?*
"I see."
Buffy made herself continue. "I can't...losing you hurts so
much...I was so angry when you tried to kill yourself by fighting
Angelus...but it was because I was so scared of losing you...and
that test...I thought we were finished...that I'd lost you
forever...and then Ethan turned you into a demon and I thought
you were dead..."
"And yet you happily left Sunnydale after our little
interlude with Angelus...without so much as a word...not even
*goodbye,"* he observed very softly.
Buffy stared at the back of the familiar head. "I saw
you," she whispered. "I never told anyone, but I came
to the school. I saw all of you. I couldn't leave without
knowing. I had to know that you were...okay."
"Okay?" he laughed bitterly. "I suppose that's one
way to describe it."
Her eyes grew very bright. "I know I left you...but it was
just like the nightmares. I was so alone...I missed you so
much..."
"And you don't think anyone else was alone? That anyone
might have missed you...?" *Needed you...* His shoulders
hunched a little. "Never mind," he finished softly.
Buffy's eyes grew wider, as her lips parted. "I know I was
wrong, okay," she told him in a shaking voice that was more
intense than any shout. "I've known for a very long time. I
just don't have...I just don't know how to say I'm sorry. I mean
listen to me. Think about the things I've done and then listen to
that: *'I'm sorry.'* It's nothing. It's worse than nothing.
But I don't know how else to make it right. I made some dumb
choices...dumb, scared, stupid choices...and I'm not proud of
them and I am so sorry...but I still don't know how to make it
right."
"If that's true, then why?" he asked, turning slowly.
*"Why...?"* She repeated, a tremor going through her
and her stomach turning over when she finally saw the profound
depth of the hurt in his eyes.
He nodded. "This year...?"
Moisture rose and glistened in her eyes as she stared at him.
Then the blue-grey pools suddenly grew huge in her small face, as
startled as a deer caught in a car's headlights.
Giles became alarmed when the colour drained from her cheeks and
started to step towards her, halting only when she raised a hand.
"You want the long version...or the short one?" she
finally managed. "Because I just realised I've always known
the short one, without knowing I knew...and that makes absolutely
no sense..." she babbled, then flushed but didn't elaborate.
He shook his head in bewilderment.
Buffy resisted a sudden, overwhelming, inexplicable urge to throw
herself at his neck. Instead she took a deep breath to steady her
rapidly disintegrating nerve, and continued.
"The long version goes something like this: Buffy goes to
college and discovers she's a very small, scared fish in a very
big ocean. So the first excuse she gets, she comes running home,
only to find that it's not home any more and she truly is on her
own. Not...not only has Watcher-guy decided its time to take a
permanent sabbatical from being bugged, he's got company...way
more important company than me."
"That's not true...!" The words were jerked from Giles
before he could stop himself.
Buffy's troubled eyes flashed, then slid away. "Buffy
decides to do exactly what Watcher-guy tells her to do, only she
goes extreme. She goes with the 'I'll show you!' response to a
problem. You know, the one normally reserved for six year
olds?" she added acidly. "And I was so good at it.
First there was Parker, then the beer, then Professor Walsh...
Now there was a major piece of judgement on my part. Way to go,
Buffy." Her shoulders slumped and she sighed jaggedly.
"Anyway, to keep this long story from turning into War and
Peace...and you know the rest anyway: You didn't need me...I
didn't need you."
"Oh, Buffy..." he said, too softly for her to hear.
* * *
For several moments there was silence, and then she turned to
face him, slowly.
He was surprised to see two bright splashes of colour in her pale
cheeks, fear in her eyes as they sought his and her shoulders
straightened.
"And then there's the short version. Like I said, it's kinda
new," she said tremulously and came to him. "Everything
else still stands...the whole stupid lot of it...but there was
one part even I didn't know...until now." She stopped
just inches from him and looked up.
Giles' eyes widened at the raw fear in hers as they stared at
each other. His heart jumped and began to race. He didn't know
exactly why, only that it was suddenly far more difficult to
breathe normally.
Buffy watched him, terrified. *Nothing would ever be the same
between them again. He was going to freak; going to hate her; he
was going to close up like the...*
"I love you...!" It wasn't poetic, or dignified,
or even romantic, but she'd actually said it. It was out there.
For an endless, frozen moment neither of them moved. Buffy's
declaration hung in the air like a frozen scream, waiting for
time to start up again.
It was almost more than Giles could do to remain standing.
"How...?" he whispered, finally, then shook his head as
though angry with himself. "No...there's too much
...Angel... Riley. How can you possibly...?"
Buffy reached up and stopped his jaw from moving with a firm
palm, holding it, feeling its warmth, its maleness. She also felt
him tense.
"Don't think. *Feel*," she commanded unsteadily.
"Can you feel me trembling? *You're* doing that." She
took his other hand in her free one and lifted it to her breast.
"Can you feel my heart thumping? That's you too."
When he swallowed, but didn't answer, she let go and leaned
forward, pushing the open shirt aside and resting her cheek
against his bare sternum.
"Is that me?" she asked, fear still trembling in her
voice as she listened to the thundering beat beneath the warm
flesh.
Giles made an anguished noise and rested a hand in her hair.
"Oh, God. Buffy, please..." he whispered hoarsely.
Her arms slid under the shirt and circled his body as she turned
her face to kiss his chest.
"Please what, Giles?" she asked, moving the kisses up
to the base of his throat. "Please don't be so scared I
can't stop my hands from shaking...? Please don't love you so
much I can hardly breathe?"
Two large hands grasped the points of her shoulders and set her
away from him, his breath rasping audibly now, his eyes blurred
with desire and wide with pain. He dropped his hands and stepped
away.
"Please what...?" he managed to repeat tremulously, his
voice hardening again to compensate for the hurt in it.
"I'll tell you what: Please tell me that I'm not dreaming.
Please tell me that you won't be gone again tomorrow, or the day
after, when young Riley comes back and smiles just the right way
at you again...or the day after that when Angel calls again. Tell
me that you won't..."
His head dropped, the sentence unfinished.
Heart in her throat, hope almost paralysing her, Buffy came to
him, caught his shaking hands and held them. "I love
you," she repeated with vehemence and pulled his arms around
her, wound hers tightly around him again, nestling her face
against the soft chest hair. "I love you more than I've ever
loved anyone or anything in my life. Everything else is history.
It was history a long time ago. I just didn't know it until now.
I don't want history Giles. I want you."
After a beat his arms suddenly came to life, dragging her to him
and crushing her in their embrace.
"You are my life, don't you know that?" he breathed.
"You always have been."
Sorrow lanced through Buffy again, the true magnitude of what
she'd put him through only just beginning to truly reveal itself
to her now painfully exposed heart. Her arms tightened around
him.
"I didn't know," she whispered truthfully against the
warmth of his skin. "Oh, God, Giles I'm sorry...I'm so
sorry. I love you so much." When he didn't answer, she put
her head back enough to look up at his face, to find and meet the
now over bright green eyes.
"I love you," she repeated, her heart leaping at the
light that came into them. "I think maybe I've been in love
with you for a long time. Long enough to want Olivia to explode
into little bitty pieces of stinky blue cheese the moment I saw
her, anyway. I know I don't deserve it, but I want so-"
Buffy's nervous rambling was halted by his big fingers pressing
very gently against the tender mouth, her heart by the smile on
his face.
And then she was frozen. No moment, nothing she'd ever
experienced compared to the anticipation, the sudden suffocating
rush of desire, fear, and love that consumed her as his head bent
toward hers. She couldn't even close her eyes, watching instead
as his sensual mouth found hers and they merged into one.
At that point all her senses stopped functioning on any
intelligible level. All she knew was that she never wanted it to
stop. That this was what she wanted, where she was always meant
to be.
When they finally parted it was only to look at each other,
neither willing to relinquish the other further.
He traced the outline of her face with his fingertips, still
trying to understand how it was possible.
She closed her eyes and gave herself to his touch, willing him to
continue, but once he'd trailed down to the softness at the base
of her throat, he stopped. Buffy looked up at him again and saw
the doubt in his eyes.
"Don't," she whispered.
"Buffy..."
Her fingers traced an imaginary line down his long torso to his
belt, felt him shudder at their caress, and shuddered herself. It
was so new...so intense...feeling his warm skin, smelling not
just the subtle cologne he'd always worn, but the real, heady
scent of his body, touching him as a man, as a lover... Her
breath caught and she looked up.
"I want this, " she said simply.
He shook his head. "It's too soon."
She ran her hands up his chest and pushed his shirt off his
shoulders. "No...because of me it's been too damned long.
Giles, you know I'm way too challenged to be able to tell you in
words...but I can show you...I want to show you."
Giles stared into the blue grey eyes with a mixture of wonder and
trepidation, absorbing the desire, the desperation in them, and
most of all the love. The shirt fell to the ground.
For a few more moments he held his breath and then he took her
face in his hands.
"I love you more than anything I have ever loved," he
told her softly. "I want you more than I have ever wanted
anything...but you have to be certain this is what you want.
There is no turning back for us if we do this."
Buffy drew out of his fingertips and pulled the peasant blouse
over her head, revealing only her small, perfect breasts, tender
peaks sharp with desire for him.
"No turning back," she agreed, moulding herself against
his body, waves of pure electricity surging through her as the
soft flesh of her bosom pressed against the hard warmth of his
body. "Love me, Giles...and let me love you."
"Oh God," he rasped, swept her off her feet and carried
her in his arms to the stairs, took them two at a time until he
reached the loft and stopped dead.
A moment later the raw tension shattered and both broke into
giggles at the sight of the mess on the quilt.
"So much for spontaneity," he sighed and put her down
reluctantly. She giggled again as he bent and swept the weapons
aside, ran her hands over his bare back, resisting the temptation
to dip down and trace the glorious tension on the seat of his
jeans as he leaned over.
Giles paused for a moment, his body responding to her touch in
ways he hadn't experienced for years, then continued, his breath
shortening as her hand slid around to caress his chest as stakes,
crossbow, bolts and holy water were flung onto the floor and he
pulled the covers back.
Then suddenly he turned and swept her off her feet, pulling her
against him and kissing her hard, revelling in her immediate
response: the arms that closed around his neck, their plundering
of each other, trading strength for strength, passion for
passion, her hands burying themselves in his hair, his glorying
in the curves of the tender buttocks he was holding.
When he couldn't stand it any longer he turned, still holding her
against his body, and lay her down in the bed.
He watched the rise and fall of her breasts as she caught her
breath, the rumple of golden hair in disarray, but it was the
look in her eyes: the smouldering desire; the very real,
unconditional love, that took his own breath away.
She was so beautiful...
Buffy smiled at his goofy look and looked his long, lean figure
up and down, making him grin back self-consciously.
"Show me," she ordered, grinning again when he shot a
glance at her, his eyes flashing, before fumbling momentarily
with his belt, then undoing his pants and starting to slide the
zipper down.
"Giles, you're beautiful," she said softly when he
hesitated again, confirmation shining in her eyes.
He relaxed, exhaling a long breath, and removed the pants with
the ease of experience, enjoying Buffy's gasp of surprise when
she realized he wasn't wearing any underwear.
"Beautiful," she repeated, when all of him was
revealed.
He grinned again, leaned over her and took hold of her shorts,
drawing them off equally as easily when she lifted her hips
obligingly, his fingertips hooking and removing her pretty lilac
lingerie at the same time.
And then it was his turn to gasp. If he was ready for her before,
he was achingly ready now.
She shifted across and he joined her in the bed, only to find her
in his arms and nestled close within moments, the heat of her
naked body burning against his sensitised skin. He drew her
closer and kissed her hair.
"We don't have to do anything, if you don't want to,"
he told her gently.
The golden head lifted and soft fingers slid down to his groin to
caress his straining manhood. His moan reverberated around the
room.
"I dare you to say that again," she teased and kissed
his chin, the base of his throat and the curves of his chest, as
her hand closed around him. "I just missed you, that's
all."
When her lips reached his navel, he growled low in his throat and
used his strength to roll her over easily, so he was looking down
at her.
"So we're good?" she purred as the tawny head bent to
explore her tender curves, the purr turning to a moan as his
mouth enveloped a soft breast, sending waves of the most intense
desire she'd ever felt surging through her. And as he continued
to take control, to explore every inch of her body on his own
terms, it surged even more, making her ache for him, burn for
him...
By the time he'd reached the centre of her desire and had her
crying out in ecstasy at what he was doing to her, she was so
intoxicated by his power, his strength and her love for him, that
she could hardly think straight let alone form thoughts and
words.
All she could manage to do in the end was touch his hair so that
he looked up, saw the plea in her eyes and rose to meet it.
Buffy slid her arms around his neck as he lifted her hips.
Giles smiled as her thighs curled around his and watched her
flush as he pushed himself into her soft folds.
She smiled back...then gasped when he finally entered her.
"I love you *so* much," she declared fiercely and
pulled his head down to hers.
His kiss was deep and tender, as tender as the slow joining of
their bodies was powerful.
As it deepened so did he sink into her, their merging a slow
fusion of flesh and spirit, until they both gasped and shifted,
desire driving them to rise to each other, Giles glorying in her
with long, rhythmic strokes as she strained and lifted to him.
"Oh...Giles...oh God..." she gasped as his strokes
accelerated and his growls turned to urgent, demanding groans.
They rose as one and both of them cried out as their bodies
exploded with the power of their orgasms.
"Buffy...!" Giles gasped as the maelstrom died away,
leaving the two of them locked together, breathless and exultant.
Her arms wrapped around his neck when he moved to shift
away.
"Stay..."
He focused then and looked down at her. Her hair was everywhere.
Tenderly, he smoothed strands away from her face and off her
brow, before brushing her reddened lips with his.
She smiled up at him. "I want to stay like this
forever," she sighed and tightened the circle of her arms.
"As do I," he agreed softly then thought of something.
"Not so very gross after all?" he asked dryly.
"That's no fair," she pouted. "I was being
obnoxious when I said that and you know it. I was mad at you and
even if I didn't actually know it at the time, I wanted to
scratch Olivia's eyes out for daring to presume to touch my guy,
much less wear his shirts...and eat his icky cheese!"
He kissed her delicious mouth again, the tip of her nose and her
brow. "You're a very silly girl," he chided, amused.
"I was," she agreed and mouthed his chin. "But I
think I'm finally starting to wise up, don't you?"
He chuckled softly. "My sweet love..."
Buffy wrinkled her nose and wriggled. "Something tells
me we're going to have to move."
Giles raised an eyebrow and shifted slightly. "I see what
you mean." In one smooth movement he rolled away, snatched
some tissues from his side table and handed them to her.
When she was done, she immediately moved back into the circle of
his arms, drawing herself up enough to look down into the eyes
she'd come to love so much.
He watched her contentedly as she stroked his rumpled hair.
"No regrets?" she asked softly.
He snorted. "Stealing my lines now," he growled, before
suddenly growing serious. He cupped her face with a large hand,
his fingers spreading into her hair. "Nothing on this earth
could ever make me regret loving you..."
Buffy swallowed. "But I could. I did," she said sadly,
then made a noise when he shifted to enclose her in the warm
circle of his arms.
As she snuggled contentedly against him, burrowing her nose into
the warm maleness of his wide chest and entwining the rest of her
slender limbs with his, Giles drew her even closer.
"You couldn't know the power you wielded over me," he
said gently.
"Are you trying to make me feel worse?"
"Yes," he replied dryly. "Is it
working?"
"Depends."
He threw his head back and groaned suddenly. "Buffy!"
She smiled into the warmth of his body. "You didn't tell me
you could do that. And to answer your question: no it's not
working."
Giles moaned again. "What are you doing to me, woman?"
he groaned, arching to the ministrations of her mischievous
fingers.
Buffy shifted to straddle him, taking him inside her in one
movement as she settled over his hips. "Exploring that power
you said I wield over you," she told him lovingly and began
to move in slow, languid strokes. "I think I like it."
He started to respond, his hands clasping her seat.
"God, so do I," he breathed as they both felt the
embers of their previous passion roar back to life and their
movements became urgent again.
"What am I doing to you?" Buffy gasped as they reached
their second crescendo. "What the hell are you doing to
me??"
Afterward both lay on their backs heaving for breath.
"Giles, what was that?" she managed breathlessly, her
body awash with glorious afterglow.
"You trying to kill me," he managed between rasps then
tried to form a grin between the panting breaths. "A
delightful...way...to go, I might...add."
In response she turned over and drew herself up once again, to
look into his eyes, searching them as she spoke.
"No, I think maybe it was a demonstration of what the rest
of your life is going to be like."
Their gazes held for a long moment, then his previous amusement
deepened into a kind of inner joy she'd never seen in him before.
Colour flooded back into her face and she released the breath
she'd been holding.
"So this means I get to choose the cheese from now on? Blue
is definitely out," she grinned.
"Buffy..." Giles enveloped her in his arms, cocooning
her against his body as she wrapped herself around him, her
embrace every bit as fierce as his.
She kissed the bridge of his nose. "Okay, so you can choose
the cheese, as long as I get to stay forever."
"You and your bloody cheese," he muttered, lovingly
into her hair before his voice grew hoarse with emotion again.
"If you think I'd ever willingly let you go again, now that
you're finally mine-"
He was prevented from finishing the sentence by Buffy's lips
covering his. "I got it," she told him when she lifted
her head again, her eyes gleaming, her cheeks as flushed with joy
as his were.
"Forever it is..."
THE END