Nightmares 4: Sacrifice
By Lasarhiona

Title-- Nightmares 4: Sacrifice
Author-- Lasarhiona
Rating-- PG-13
Classification-- story, angst
Spoilers-- none

Disclaimer: I don't own them; probably never will But I'll keep on writing fanfics until The day that Joss wakes up and gets a clue. No infringement intended, please don't sue. 

After getting fed up with trying to work with the repercussions of character deaths, romances, etc, in fanfics, I decided that it would be easiest to just eliminate repercussions. So I came up with the idea of writing down Giles' nightmares--all the scary dreams he has while being Buffy's Watcher. That way, I don't have to deal with anything past the time he wakes up--and he can wake up whenever is convenient for me. ;-) But remember: they're all just dreams, so no one actually dies. Don't be surprised if characters come back story after story when they seem to already have kicked the bucket. =) So here they are: The Nightmares Series. Enjoy!

"Ugh.  Why can't they make these books smaller?" Xander mumbled, wrestling with a thick book perched on the top shelf.  "Hey, Buffy?" he called from the stacks.  "Need some of your muscle up here!" 

Buffy sighed and pushed back from the table.  "Yeah, yeah, here I come."  Very tired and somewhat bleary-eyed, she stomped heavily up the stairs in Xander's direction.  "This better not be a book you want purely for naked-women-engravings reasons..."

The relative silence of the library was broken by the shrill ringing of the phone in Giles' office.  Carefully marking the page he was on, Giles stood and walked to the phone, the noise making his headache worse.  Snatching it up out of the cradle, he took a moment to revel in the silence that again reigned in his library.  Giles brought the phone to his ear and cleared his throat.  "Yes, hello?"

Buffy returned to her seat, Xander struggling along at her heels, a large book gripped in his arms.  "Why can't they break these things down into a bunch of smaller books?  Like, sell them in a set of 20 or so."

Willow tilted her head to read the spine of the book.  "Oh, they did.  This is volume eleven.  There's twenty-one in total."

Xander groaned in frustration as he dropped the book with a loud bang onto the table.  In his office, Giles jumped.  Holding one hand over the receiver, he leaned through the doorway and hissed, "Would you all *please* be quiet, this is *extremely* important."  With that he turned and slammed the door to his office.  Through the blinds in the door's window, Buffy watched as Giles slumped into a chair and began rubbing his forehead.  The conversation was muffled by the barriers between Giles and Buffy, but his words came through loud and clear when he suddenly stood, knocking his chair backwards.  "That can't be it!  I refuse to believe that!"

Alarmed, Buffy made her way around the table and tapped lightly on the window.  Looking up and seeing Buffy there, Giles walked to the door and threw the look, then twisted the blinds closed.  Buffy stood, astonished at her Watcher's behavior.  Two minutes later, Giles emerged, his eyes on the ground. 

"Giles...?" Buffy asked quietly.

"I need you all to go home now." 

"Giles--"

"Leave!" Giles said loudly, bringing his eyes up to meet Buffy's.

"But we haven't found anything yet," Willow argued.

"I've found a way to stop it, but I need some time to work out the details.  I need some time alone.  Please go home and get some sleep, you've all been very helpful.  Thank you.  Buffy, I'll call you later."

Stepping forward, Buffy shook her head.  "Uh-uh.  I'm not leaving.  Giles, you don't look so good.  What's wrong?"

"Nothing.  I'm fine."

"You are *not* fine."  Behind them, the others began packing their things.  "You are anything *but* fine.  Now tell me what just happened.  Who was on the phone?"

"No one you need to know about.  Please go home, Buffy, and spend some time with your mother." 

Buffy's shoulders slumped.  "You didn't really find a way to stop this, did you?  We're all going to die at midnight tonight.  Aren't we?"

Giles shook his head.  "No, Buffy.  The world will go on.  I can promise you none of your friends will die tonight.  No one who doesn't know about this will find out.  The Hellmouth will not open tonight.  Now please leave."

"I'm not going to leave, Giles."

"Yes, you will.  You're going to leave."  Giles' eyes skipped from Buffy's to a point somewhere over her left shoulder.  "You'll leave.  Now, please go home.  Tell your mother I'm...sorry for keeping you away for the past two days."

Buffy took a few small steps backwards, shaking her head.  "Something's up, Giles...and you'd better tell me what it is, and soon.  I'm going to leave, but if you haven't called me by eleven tonight, I'm going to come find you, no matter where you are."

"I promise you'll know what's to happen by then."

Buffy turned and followed her friends out the door.

*~*~*~*

Buffy walked quickly into the library, the doors swinging shut with a soft woosh behind her.  "Giles?  It's eleven o'clock.  You haven't told me what's going on yet.  So do it now.  What've you got for me?"

Giles shut his eyes and rested his head in his hands on his desk.  The Hellmouth was due to open again in exactly one hour, and there was only one way to stop it.  The Council had told him what needed to be done, and, horrified by the prospect of doing what was called for, Giles had spent the past eight and a half hours pouring over his books and old Watcher diaries, only to find that the council was right: the earth would become Hell very quickly if he didn't do what was asked of him.  It had happened twelve times before; this was lucky thirteen.

"Giles!  Hey, wakey, wakey."  Buffy walked into Giles' office and stood behind him, shaking one of his shoulders gently. 

"I'm not asleep, Buffy," Giles said into his hands.  Lifting his head, he replaced his glasses and motioned to a chair beside him, carefully avoiding looking at his Slayer. 

Buffy immediately sensed something was wrong, and sat down slowly.  "We can't stop it, can we?" she said quietly.  They'd only been given two days notice; barely enough time complete preliminary research.  And Giles hadn't let them even continue that this afternoon, shooing them out so abruptly.

"Yes.  Yes, we can stop it.  The Hellmouth will remain closed."

"Then why do you still look like the world's gonna end?"

"Because for me it will."

"But you just said the Hellmouth wasn't going to--"

"The world as everyone knows it will keep turning, and no demons or hellish creatures will overrun it because of tonight."  Giles paused, grasping for the right words.  "But...I'm not quite sure how, after tonight, I will be able to continue."

Buffy frowned.  "You're giving me a serious case of the wiggins here, Giles.  Speak English.  *American* English.  You won't be able to continue what?"

"Buffy, there's...there's only one way to keep the Hellmouth closed tonight, and...it's going to be...extremely difficult."

"Was the phone call you got this afternoon about it?  Was it the Council?"

"Yes.  They...instructed me on what needs to be done.  I've done the preliminary preparations, but...the, the end of the..."  Giles swallowed.  "...the spell..."  Shaking his head, Giles stood and walked quickly out of his office, grabbing the nearest book.  "We'll just have to keep researching.  There's got to be another way, there has to be something else we can do that will satisfy--"

Buffy grabbed Giles' shoulders and spun him around to face her.  Finding himself face to face with his Slayer, Giles flinched and tried to extract himself from Buffy's grasp.  "Let go, Buffy, for God's sake, *please*--"

"No!  Not until you tell me!  How do we stop this?"  Getting no answer, Buffy shook Giles violently.  "What do we need to do?"

"It, it requires a...a sacrifice.  A death.  Here in the library," Giles choked out.

Buffy released him and took a step back, confused and scared.

"The council was very specific.  I must...  I have to...  Oh, God..."  Giles turned away from Buffy, removing his glasses and tossing them onto the counter.  "I can't.  I, I can't."

"You...Giles...?  No, Giles, you...  Why would they call for a Watcher to die?"

Giles turned back to Buffy.  Seeing the sorrow and pity in her eyes, a cold shiver went down his spine.  "Buffy, if I thought my death could prevent this, I would have long since been dead.  To keep the Hellmouth closed, the death must be that of the Slayer."

Buffy's mouth opened in surprise, and tried to form words, only to have them die at her lips. 

"Buffy, I'm so sorry," Giles moaned, taking a step towards her.  "I've spent hours trying to find another way, and God as my witness, if there was any other way, I'd--"

"Stop."  Her whispered command hit Giles like a ton of bricks.  "Just...don't say another word."  Backing towards the door slowly, her hand held up to prevent Giles from following her, her mind skittered from one thing to the next, never focussing on anything long enough to have a complete thought about it. 

"Buffy, I'm sorry, but...you can't--"

Spinning quickly, Buffy reached for the handle of the door, only to find once she had it in her grasp, it wouldn't budge.  Setting her jaw and crouching slightly, Buffy pulled with every ounce of strength in her, desperate and frightened.

"Buffy, it won't open.  I put a spell on the library so once we were both in here, we couldn't leave.  Either of us.  And no one else can enter."

In two seconds she had covered the distance between them and punched Giles with all her power, sending him quickly to the floor with the force of the blow.  "Open the door!  Undo it!  Let me out!  You can't just keep me in here to die!"

Giles, his cheekbone cut and rapidly bruising, looked up at Buffy, his heart breaking.  "Buffy, I can't," he pleaded.  "You must understand--if the Hellmouth opens, you and I and the rest of the world will perish in a *very* small amount of time.  If you die before midnight tonight, no one *else* will.  It's happened before, and it's the *only* way!"

"I'm eighteen years old, Giles!" Buffy screeched, rapidly losing all control.  "I'm not going to die tonight!  I can't!  I'm the Slayer!"

"That's precisely why you must, Buffy."

"There has to be another way...there's *always* another way..."

"There isn't, Buffy, I swear it.  I've been over it again and again, trying to find a loop hole, but this time it's very clear what must happen!"

"No.  No," Buffy said, her voice suddenly low and frighteningly controlled.  "You're wrong.  You're just looking for the easy way to deal with this.  I die, and then no one has to fight whatever the hell comes up out of the hole under the floor over there."

Giles, appalled at Buffy's statement, pushed himself up off the floor to stand in front of her.  "Buffy, this is nothing we can fight, it just doesn't work that way--"

"*You* think about it!  What if it *was* the Watcher's death that was called for?  Try to imagine being told you're going to have to die in one hours time, and literally there's no way you can run from it?" Buffy spat.

"It would be an amazing relief if I could be in your position, but I wouldn't dream of putting *you* in *my* position.  I'm not that cruel," Giles answered, becoming angry.

"*Excuse me*?"  Buffy said, incredulous.  "I have to *die*, Giles!  You get to live!  My position is the bad one here!"

"No, Buffy, you have it easy.  You die, and that's the end," Giles growled.

"Exactly!" Buffy yelled, spreading her arms.  "I *die*!  And it's the *end*!  I'm only *eighteen*, Giles, have you any idea how many things I'm never going to experience?"

"Have you any idea how many things I'm going to have to experience knowing you never will?" Giles hissed.  "You die, and that's the end.  You must endure no more suffering after that.  But I go on living with the knowledge that I killed you, and I did it voluntarily!"  Shaking and sickened with what was to come, Giles turned his back to Buffy and moved to grasp the end of the library's central table.

Buffy remained rooted to the spot, her eyes glued to her Watcher.  "You...you have to kill me?"

Giles nodded.  "It can't be a suicide, Buffy.  The Watcher has to kill the Slayer.  Mine must be the hand that holds the weapon when it kills you."

"But...you'd never hurt me..." Buffy whispered in confusion.

Forgoing the chair, Giles released his grip on the table and slid to the floor.  "Oh, Buffy, this will destroy me...I'm quite positive this experience will drive me insane.  I have no idea how I'll live with myself after tonight."

Backing away from Giles, Buffy slowly sat on the floor across from him, her back against the front counter. 

"I know I can't--" Giles started, but was cut off by Buffy.

"Just...leave it, OK?  Give me a couple minutes to think.  Just...quiet."

With a dispirited sigh, Giles settled back against the leg of the table and watched his Slayer.

*~*~*~*

At 11:40, after half an hour of sitting silently, Buffy stood and walked to the weapons locker.  Picking a large, nasty looking knife, Buffy moved over to where Giles sat, placing the knife above him on the table.  Crouching beside him, she waited for him to look at her.  When he made no move to do so, she tapped his shoulder uncertainly. 

"What?" he mumbled, still not turning to look at her.

"Um...Giles, I just..." 

Hearing the tears in her suddenly child-like voice, Giles immediately felt bad for his coldness towards her, and turning to face her, he gathered her in his arms.  "Oh, Buffy...I'm so sorry."

"It's OK, really...I understand what's goin' on now.  I just...can you hold me for a little while longer?"

"Of course...of course."  Rocking her back and forth slightly as she buried her face in his shoulder, Giles asked hesitantly, "Is there anything you want me to do for you?  Anything you wish me to tell someone?  I suppose you could write your mother or Willow a letter...I'd deliver it immediatly." 

Buffy pulled away, sniffing.  Clearing her throat, she shook her head decisively.  "No.  Just...tell them the Hellmouth opened, but I...I stopped it.  But I got hurt in the process...don't tell them how it happened, OK?"

"Alright.  I won't."  Giles watched Buffy as she wiped absently at her tears and reached up to take something off the table above him.  As she brought the knife into view, Giles nearly gagged.  "No, no, Buffy, we've still got time.  Don't...don't rush it," he pleaded desperately. 

"Giles...it's OK.  Here.  Just hold it.  Just...here."  Handing the weapon to Giles, she made sure he grasped it and didn't let it fall.  "Hang on to it."

The cold metal in his hand made Giles sick with the thought of what he had to do with it.  Closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see himself holding it, he tried to back away from Buffy, but she held him still, one hand on his shoulder, the other on his fore-arm. 

Buffy stared at her Watcher, his face pinched in self-loathing.  "Giles."  No reaction.  "Giles."  Buffy moved the hand that held his shoulder to the side of his face, which prompted Giles to open his eyes and look at her, his tortured expression sending pangs of guilt through Buffy.  "Giles, I don't ever want you to feel guilty about this.  Never.  Think of all the people we're saving.  OK?" 

All the emotion in him reached a breaking point, and Giles leaned his forehead against hers and whispered, "Screw the world.  Let's just stay here and die together."

Anguished, Buffy murmured, "Will you miss me?"

"I miss you when you go home every day...I'm going to go mad missing you if you die."

"Promise me something."

"Anything."

"Don't come after me.  Don't look for death.  Stay, and help my mom, and explain this to Willow and Xander.  I want you to live.  I need you to.  I need you to live for me."

His protest catching in his throat, Giles simply nodded.

"Good."  Kissing him softly, she grasped the arm that held the knife and before Giles knew what had happened, she had pulled his hand toward her forcefully, causing him to bury the knife into her.

With a gasp, Buffy cringed and fell back from her Watcher, her hand pressing into her abdomen in a futile effort to stop the pain. 

"No, Buffy, no, I wasn't ready...  God, no, there was still time...we had...  I wasn't ready..." Giles stuttered, agonized over what he'd just done.  Pillowing her head with his hand as she collapsed back to the floor, he realized he still held the knife, and with a low cry, he threw it across the room where it clattered to a stop next to the book cage. 

Her breathing labored, Buffy smiled up at Giles as her vision blurred.  "Just think of how many people we just saved..." she said, her voice barely a whisper.  Giles held her tightly as she gave a pain-filled cry and grabbed at him, biting into his shoulder.  As her shuddering and convulsing died down and became less violent, he felt the ground tremble slightly and then still again.  Buffy lay motionless in his arms.

And the Hellmouth remained closed.

END