Alive
By Lacy

Title: Alive 10/10
Summary: My version of what should have gone down in Bargaining.
Spoilers: Through S5 "The Gift", and a tiny bit of "Bargaining, 1 & 2". After that, all bets are off.
Pairing: B/G, obviously. *grin*
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: Yes! Yes! Please!
Use: Want. Take. Have. Just tell me where it goes.
Disclaimer: Obviously not my characters, as I imagine we'd all be a lot happier if they were! They're all owned by Joss the Evil, ME, UPN and a bunch of people I don't know. I'm just borrowing them.

Giles held Buffy close as they curled on the sofa.

"MMmmm." He murmured into her hair.

"Yes?" she smiled softly.

"Just thinking how incredibly fortunate I am."

"Well, it's Thanksgiving. We're supposed to be thinking about stuff we're thankful for."

"And I am. So very grateful. For you. For this." He gestured to Dawn on the floor playing some strange game with hijacked cars and mafia goons on the Playstation with Xander. "For the fact that I can cook, since you can't."

Buffy swatted him. "Hey, I thought I made some pretty fantastic stuffing."

"It was from a box, love."

"So? I measured out the water and everything all by myself."

"That you did." He kissed the top of her head.

"And no slayage for how long?"

"I know. It's amazing. Not that, you know, I mind having you home every night. I sleep easier."

"Well, Willow seems to like it," she paused, "The slaying, I mean. Not the me sleeping thing. That's strictly you territory."

"I don't know so much about liking it, as feeling that she's atoning in some way. Or, learning to use that power for something constructive."

"Giles, she flattens things with her mind."

"But, in a controlled way now."

"Yeah, now... though, I gotta admit I like the new car."

"You like it because it's red."

"I like it because you finally let me drive the darn thing."

"Arguing with you gets tiring."

"I think it was probably something to do with the refusing to sleep in the same bed with you until you lightened up."

"Well, that helped, I dare say."

"You're so British. I love that."

"Well, thank you."

"I love basically everything about you."

"Only basically everything? My pride is wounded."

"I don't like the way you constantly steal the covers. That's about it in the negative column."

He laughed, and tipped her face up to his. He kissed her gently, but fervently. "I love you."

Buffy's eyes shone. "Love you back." She took his hand, and traced the scar that ran along his palm. There'd been few negative effects from the enjoining/binding spell. They'd even gained the ability to sense when the other was in danger because of the connection wrought by the magic. The worst that happened was that they tended to get headaches and colds around the same time, but they felt that they could deal easily enough with that inconvenience.

"I've been thinking about that night, too." Giles said softly. "I know its been on Willow's mind because of the holidays."

"She's been out flattening, so to speak, a lot more often."

"I feel so horrid that... "

"I know. But.. she had to get to this in her own way, right?"

"It's a hard thing, to be responsible for crippling the one you love."

"I can't imagine. If you.."

"Don't." He brushed her hair back from her face. "This...it's not fair, but, I have to tell myself that it's simply part of Willow's journey. Towards taking the responsibility for that power she called up when she brought you back. I have to believe that."

"Even though it's so... wrong..what happened to Tara?"

Giles paused, and rested his cheek against Buffy's hair for a moment. He spoke slowly. "I.. I don't know. Tara is alive, and that means that she has the chance to get better. Whether that means she'll ever walk again is something that's out of all of our control. But... maybe, for her.. that's not what her being alive will be about? I don't know, I'm hopelessly philosophizing this, aren't I? But, she has a chance, and now so does Willow, and so do all the rest of us, though perhaps not quite so desperate."

"We've all been that desperate at one time or another, I think." Buffy's mind flashed back to the night she'd come back, shaken and terrified on the tower that had been her death.

"And no doubt, will all be again."

"That's comforting holiday cheer."

"Sorry."

"Want to have a go on the Playstation?" Xander asked. "Hijacking things at random cheers you up a *lot*."

The pair on the couch laughed. "In a bit, perhaps" Giles said quietly. He pulled Buffy closer. "I'm fairly happy with my current position."

"You guys are gross," Xander observed, turning his attention back to the TV when Dawn started shrieking that their characters were being shot at.

"We know," Buffy said, holding Giles' hand. "We're lucky," she added softly.

"And there's no reason that you should feel bad about that. Willow made her choices. And, that's all any of us can do. That Tara has to pay for them as well is just one of those things you can't do anything about."

"I know. I just feel kind of bad being so happy when they're so miserable."

"Don't," he whispered. "Please?"

Buffy's heart melted down into her stomach. "But I am so happy, Giles. At least, as much as I can be. And really, that's all 'cause of you."

"I know... I know these haven't been the easiest few months for you.. but.."

"It's gotten a lot better. And, 'cause I know this isn't what you're asking, but still.. I *am* glad that I'm here."

"Good to know." He laughed wryly, and hugged her again. "Care to have a go on Xander's little game? I imagine avoiding the police should be child's play for us."

"There is no way you are getting through this mission. None." Dawn spoke up. "We've been taking turns trying for an hour."

"Sounds like a challenge to me!" Buffy replied, and plopped onto the floor by her sister. She was soon joined by Giles, and the four of them were soon laughing over the onscreen antics.

Buffy got up for a second to go get something to drink from the kitchen, and upon returning, looked upon the happy scene. She mentally added Willow into the happy group picture, because eventually that would happen, and silently gave thanks for the family she'd been blessed with.

They more than made up for everything else. They were what she was here for. For her sister, and her friends, and her wonderful Giles. She got slightly misty-eyed thinking about it.

And that was what mattered, wasn't it?

Willow came in the door at that moment, looking weary, but okay. Buffy walked over and wrapped her friend in an impulsive hug.

"Hey, Buffy," Willow said surprised. "Nice to see you, too." Her expression was quizzical.

Buffy looked her friend straight in the eye. "Thank you," she said quietly. "You were right. It *is* about time I said it."