Saving Grace
By Lacy

Title:Saving Grace 9/?
Summary: What happens after "Grave". Everything changes.
Spoilers: Season Six, pretty much everything up to and through "Grave".
Pairing: B/G (duh), a bit of W/X/A/S angsty-ness (or there will be)
Rating: PG-13, I'd imagine. Inching toward smutville! Smutville arrives in the next segment!
Feedback: Please! lacy@empiredc.com
Use: Want.Take.Have. Just tell me where it goes.
Disclaimer: These are obviously not my characters. They are all owned by Joss the Evil, ME, UPN and a bunch of other folks that I don't know. I'm borrowing them for fun. I'll put them back when I'm through.

Authors Notes: Okay, so same deal--I was struck by the desire (and lovely feedback) that I needed to get this out tonight. It hasn't been beta-ed at all. So, all errors are totally my fault (though I checked it over and it doesn't look bad.)
See--Feedback=faster installments. *grin*

Willow wasn't that surprised when nobody stopped her as she walked away from the house. She'd heard Buffy talk about sneaking out all through high school, she'd been pretty sure she could exit the Summers residence undetected. She needed...to not be in that room. To not be where she could still see Tara's blood on the floor. Hear her voice...."your shirt?"...

Willow brushed away an angry tear. Tara had deserved better than that as parting words. She and Tara had deserved better than that kind of ending. She supposed that she should have realized that sooner. There are no happy endings, forever afters, or saving graces. Nothing lasts. Nothing. The ache in her chest was so great that she would have started destroying things if she had the power, just to feel something *else* for a minute. Something else besides the suffocating sense of helplessness.

"And guilt. Don't forget the guilt." she muttered under her breath. She'd attacked her best friend, nearly killed her mentor and tried to end the world entirely. She didn't know how she could ever not *feel* that...inside. That desperate. That broken. "Oh, God," she whispered, "I wish I was dead."

"It won't help."

Willow turned around, startled. In her reverie she'd walked all the way to the cemetary, and hadn't noticed when Spike had fallen into step behind her.

"What?"

"It won't help. Being dead."

"How would you know?"

"I am dead, pet."

"Spike, what do you want?"

"You looked like you could use a friend, Red."

"And, what, we're friends now? I'm suddenly stunned with not caring." She walked away from him among the gravestones.

"I know why you're here."

"Oh? I don't. Enlighten me, please."

"You're not going to find her gravestone. Heard the Slayer say her family had...had her brought home. To whatever square state that is."

The truth of Spike's words hit Willow like a punch in the stomach. Stricken, she whispered, "But...I didn't...I didn't even get to say goodbye or tell her I loved her....or anything." She sank to the ground, sobbing. Spike looked at her for a second, then took his duster off and laid it around Willow's shoulders. He sat down next to her and lit a cigarette, waiting for the tears to stop.

Back at the house on Revello Drive, Xander is sitting on the couch staring morosely into space while Buffy and Giles chat in a corner and Ethan mixes another shaker of drinks.

"C'mon young one," he said, holding a tumbler out toward Xander, "Do you all the good in the world."

Xander took it unsteadily, but felt better after he'd drained half its contents. Buffy came and sat beside him.

"Xan," she said quietly, "she's going to be okay. Remember...when, when I came back I was pretty messed up for awhile, too. But, we got through it. We'll get through this."

"I hope so."

"We will. Promise. We just...we gotta give her some time."

"I just..I don't want to talk about this right now. It's too..it's too messed up in my head to make a lot of sense. Probably..probably some time for me to figure stuff out wouldn't be a bad thing, either."

"Probably not. But...well, I'll only say one thing about the whole love triangle sitch---you have to follow your heart. Regardless of who it says you should be with. If you still love Anya, go talk to her. Fix it. She still loves you, you know. Demon or not."

"Gotta admit, the demon thing has me a little wiggy."

"Well, none of my significant others have been especially conventional, and I've turned out okay."

"But, at the end of the day, you're still alone, Buff. I just...I don't know if I'm that much of risk taker guy. Maybe I need a little...a little dose of normal."

Buffy's face had flushed while he was speaking, and she opened her mouth and closed it quickly. "Yeah. Me. Alone Buffy." She looked down at the floor.

"I didn't mean that the way it sounded, I meant---"

"Look, I should go get Dawn. Before she kills herself on Oreos or something." She grabbed her jacket and practically sprinted out the front door.

Giles watched her dash out, a puzzled expression on his face. "Xander, where might Buffy be off to in such a rush?"

"Gettin' Dawn. I was kinda foot in mouth guy, made one too many cracks about where her lousy taste in men has gotten her. I didn't mean to make her upset. Maybe I should go sit with Will for a bit, least I already *know* she's pissed at me, so really nowhere to go but up."

"You told Buffy, what, again?"

"That she was all talk, no action girl. See the romance, never the result, 'cause they don't stick around much. Something like that---"

Xander stopped talking as Giles quickly followed Buffy's path out the door.

"God," he huffed. "I think I will go sit with Willow." He got up from the couch. "And don't steal anything," bitterly directed at Ethan. Once Xander reached the upstairs bedroom, a shout echoed down the stairway.

"Um...ETHAN! Get here, like now! Willow's missing!"

"And here I thought this trip would be boring", the sorcerer smiled to himself wickedly as he went to investigate. "This is better than cable."

Outside, Giles sprinted down the street toward Janice's house. About a block away he caught up with a small blonde form walking slowly, head down.

"Buffy," he panted.

"I can't do this Giles."

"Do what?"

"Xander's right. I'm alone girl. That's the way it is. Chosen to be alone. I can't....I can't love you and...I can't love you and watch you leave me too."

"Oh, dear girl," he grabbed her hands in his. "You, and you alone, have been the only woman in my heart virtually since the first day I saw you. If you haven't driven me off yet, and remember we've been through torture and apocalypse and death together...do you honestly think *anything* could make me give you up?"

She looked into his eyes for a long second, and the look in their green depths was so incredibly loving, that it made her stop breathing for a second.

"I do love you", she hugged him tightly. "And I trust you. And I'm sorry I'm so insane."

A sigh of relief escaped him, and kissed her hair. "Part of your charm, I imagine."

"At the risk of sounding like a huge slut, I think I really, really need to be naked somewhere with you. Now."

"What about Dawn?" he looked surprisingly calm, for her having just made such a bold declaration of her desire.

"We'll go get her, take her home, and go someplace to have some us time."

"Are you...are you absolutely sure?"

"Are you insane? I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life. Now, let's go get my sister."

"Um...Buffy?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can we please not inform Dawn of our...ah....plans for the evening?"

She burst out laughing at the look on his face. "Oh, yeah, right. Parent of the year award for me, there. We'll tell her we're going...patrolling. Whatever. As long as the reason isn't "we have to go and shag like bunnies" I think we're okay."

Giles couldn't say anything. A low growl rose in his throat and he seized Buffy and kissed her fiercely, twirling her around in his arms.

Gasping, she choked out. "Giles. Pick up Dawn *first*. Then you can do that all night long if you want."

He smiled at her. "It's very possible that I might. Among other things."

"Then why in the hell are we walking so slowly?!?"

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